I have never been big on Valentines. I don’t know why, I used to claim that it was because of feminism or commercialism, and even that it reminded me of the pain of growing up not being conventionally pretty and not feeling like I had the hope for romance the holiday celebrated, but maybe it’s just that I don’t like this time of year. Its cold and snowy and I just want to start planting stuff so bad. Who’s bright idea was it to put a holiday exclusively about romance in the middle of a season where it’s too cold to wear anything pretty or sexy on a date? (Probably someone who didn’t live in USDA Zone 4-5, I guess) It just seems like a holiday that shouldn’t be that big of a deal, like St. Patricks Day or Groundhog Day, but that people get waaaaay too obsessed over. As an adult, the part of Valentine’s Day that bugs me the most is the school party. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about holiday parties at school, but I just don’t like Valentines Day. The era of Pinterest has only made school parties higher pressure than ever, and I can manage that at Halloween (because I love Halloween), but Valentine’s Day? Blech.
Here at the Rocking Homestead we get a visit from the Switch Witch every year on Halloween. We do this not because we don’t want our kids eating candy, but because Elijah’s soy allergy makes most candy inedible for him, so it keeps the holiday fun.
And then there are times we have these little conversations that make me think “Oh yeah, there’s my handiwork!” Today was one of those days.
When Elijah was born I knew right away I would never put him into Boy Scouts. The Boy Scouts were not inclusive, and for all I knew Elijah might be gay. More than that, I didn’t want to support an organization that was bigoted towards LGBTQI people. It just doesn’t match up with our family values. Even now that they have made the move to allow gay scouts in the program, I am still offended at their refusal to allow LGBTQI troop leaders, as if they think anyone who doesn’t fit into their narrow gender/sexuality binary is a child molester.
In the parenting circles that I run in, there is a lot of talk about parenting peacefully. I’m all about peace and generally consider myself to be a pretty low key and permissive parent. I never spank or use any kind of physical hitting as punishment. In fact, I don’t punish often at all. I’m a big believer in natural consequences, compromise when possible, and lots of talking and teaching, rather than punishment. But more and more, I’m starting to think that all this pressure to be a perfectly zen parent all the time is unrealistic and putting way too much pressure on parents.